I'm in a beautiful cabin in the snowy woods, where I'm finding it much harder to blog than I thought! Hiking, staring at mountains, skiing, reading, & drinking hot things are more my speed. We are having a great time, relaxing and exercising and trying to stay off our computers & phones as much as possible (ha!).
I've been thinking a lot about January's Prov 31 virtue: RELIABLE, DEPENDABLE IN CHARACTER; JOYFUL, STRENGTH & HONOR ARE THEMES IN HER LIFE & SHE LOOKS FORWARD TO THE FUTURE WITH HOPE & JOY.
I want to touch briefly on the reliability/dependability of character part, and then next time I'll hit the joy/strength/honor/future bit.
Before talking about reliability/dependability and other things related to character...what IS character? One source says "Character is who we really are. It's what we do when no one is looking. It' s the accumulation of thoughts, values, words and actions. These become the habits that comprise our character."
Another says "A person of character thinks right and does right according to core universal values that define the qualities of a good person: trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship."
Sounds a little like the fruit the Bible says the Holy Spirit should produce in us Christians, huh? So to the list of "core universal values" above I would add, for our purposes, "Godliness," which encompasses all of those values and then some, and focuses heavily on the motives & the heart beating behind those values. So, Biblical character or Christlike character is good character on steroids. And that's what our Proverbs 31 woman has - core universal values, plus a few extras that Christ has demonstated and enabled her to incorporate into her life, plus a heart that exhibits character not out of obligation or guilt or fear but out of love for God, love for people, and humility/selflessness.
Following me? She's not perfect. Consistency is not 100% perfection. But she is known for being dependable when it comes to these specific attributes. I agree to some extent that character is who we are when no one is looking. But - I don't know about you, but for me this is true - sometimes when nobody is looking, I'm fighting battles and it ain't pretty. In some areas, I'm not what you would call "consistently" good. My thoughts, my actions, my sins take place in my heart and my mind where only I can see the true filthiness of my self, where only I see what I'm capable of and have to fight hard sometimes to battle against the messy stuff. That's part of being human, and it's beautiful because it's the reason I need God and can't pretend I don't! I'm a mess! BUT, while I'll always fight some kind of battle on the inside, my victories and the lessons I'm learning "in there" should translate more and more into character traits - habits, consistent patterns of behavior - that are Christlike. Not Catherine-like, oooooooh please no! HAHA! Definitely Christlike. And my reputation, I pray, will be one of dependable, consistent, good - even GODLY - character. Like our Proverbs 31 woman.
That's why this month I am examining my heart and my life to find areas where perhaps I am INconsistent. Sometimes good, sometimes not so much. And I'm taking a good, hard look at the "why." I picture my funeral. I don't want my husband to stand up and say "she was patient and gentle" while my coworkers think "riiiiight!" I don't want my sister to say "Catherine was a peacemaker, responsible and kind" while my kids think "um...not really!" But if I'm honest? Character consistency is something I could stand to work on.
For example, sometimes I'm really good about avoiding gossip. There are circumstances where I am the first to change the subject so that the gossip ends. Yeah, go me! But wait. There are also some times when I'm the Grand Ringleader of the Great Gossip Brigade, passing around a tasty rumor morsel and encouraging everyone to have a little sample, weigh in, participate! Gross! The result is this: some of my friends would say "Catherine wouldn't say something like THAT...she's not a gossip..." and others would say "yeah, I believe she'd say that...once you tell Catherine something, it's going public."
Ouch. But it's true. There are other examples of inconsistent character in my life, I could go on and on! Examples from TODAY, my friends! "I'm not perfect." Ugh, what a tough thing to confess. But look at what our Proverbs 31 woman exhibits. Not perfection, no. Good character - but she not only exhibits good character - she exhibits it consistently - which means she has a REPUTATION for good character (and not just with certain people, but with all who know her!).
Wooooow. Attainable? I think so. Perfection possible? Of course not. But to break it down simply, I think it works something like this anonymous quote I've always loved:
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
I think we could swap out "reputation" for destiny. Abraham Lincoln wrote, "Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." Your character is who you really are, and only God can know what's in your heart. But reputation stems in a big way from character, and Proverbs 31 says this woman has a great rep.
What is your reputation? If someone asked if YOU are a gossip, have self-control, are generous, are fair, would your family say something different than your friends, who would say something different than your small group, who would say something different than your spouse? Do you exhibit certain character traits only when it's convenient or easy or popular, or do you have a reputation with ALL those who know you for being kind? trustworthy? morally upright? a hard worker?
Godly?
I know I'm not quite there yet, but I sure do want to be.
Watch...watch...watch....starting with the thoughts. :)
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