A Man is Moving In (Part II)

As my impending marriage approaches, I continue to laugh/worry/bury my head in the sand re:the implications of a man moving into my space.  I'm so tickled that he will be joining the household - but I am also ever more aware of my "bad roommate" tendancies.  I've lived alone for the past 7 years (with a brief roommate stint in there for 1 year) and I am set in my ways.

This week has revealed some interesting things for both of us.  Well, I feel they're revealing, but if you ask him, he'd probably already forgotten about them.  Because he's a dude.

I decided to turn my office into a space-for-two. I ordered a desk that accomodates chairs on both sides and has plenty of surface area, I got the ok from my mom to paint the two on-loan bookcases white, and I ordered a file cabinet to match the desk, provide added surface area, & house files, printer, etc. I made a bulletin board the size of a wall and covered it in gorgeous taffeta upholstery fabric.  Everything is coming together nicely so I drag D into the room to explain my vision.  This is our conversation:

Me: "So, here's the desk and everything and..."

D: "I think eventually we will want to move the desk against the wall and make more space here in the middle of the room."

Me: "Well, that's kind of counter-productive.  The desk is this way so that both of us can work at it simultaneously."

D: "How often do you think we'll do that?"

Me: "Well I don't know, but I want to leave my laptop and papers on the desk when I'm not working in here, and I bet you do too.  So we need 2 separate work spaces.  Either 2 desks, or one desk that we can share.  This room is tiny, so I went with one big desk."

D: "Well, if it were up to me, I'd say get rid of those bookcases. How often do you come in and get a book?"

Me: "Not very often, but I don't want to get rid of all my books. So I'd have to store them somewhere else."

D: "Well, the bookcases are really just decorative then."

Me: "Kind of, but even if I stored all the books in the closet I'd still need some storage space and shelves in here.  Why get rid of great bookcases and have to go buy some other storage solution? I will just paint these white, they'll look almost like built-ins. I'll keep things in baskets or something on the shelves, it'll look neat."

D: "Hey, that's just me.  I am practical & minimalist, you are decorative & creative."

And, SCENE.  This happens every so often when I propose some kind of room re-do or furntiture change-up.  And we're not even living together yet. D is really sweet and great about this stuff, even though he doesn't 100% understand or agree with my approach.  He knows I'm trying to make this OUR space instead of just MINE, and he appreciates that.  I in turn absolutely welcome his minimalist, anti-junk philosophies.  I want to learn to live more simply.  But this will take some time, folks!

When it comes to how you decorate & accessorize your home, how much does your significant other weigh in on the details of a purchase or project?  Do you see eye-to-eye & work side-by-side or is it an exercise in sacrifice and patience for both? 

I do have to give a big shout-out to D for building the desk and finishing the file cabinet for me.  And with only a few snippy comments and only a small resulting mess on the living room floor. :)

He's going to like the finished product, too!  Photos to be posted of that office re-do, by the way...

 

Comments

[Summer]

Just be glad that he doesn't fight you tooth and nail on everything. The one time G had an opinion was the color of the crib and we all know how THAT turned out. ;)

BTW, send me progress pics!

[StephanieC]

With a little time and adjustment, that has the potential to be a great combo! A home with your style and flair, that's fully functional and low on clutter. Sounds like a dream to me!
We have a similar dynamic. Bobby loves throwing things away, streamlining, focusing on what we really NEED...and our house is no different. But, in the world of "choosing your battles," Bobby doesn't REALLY care if I have a mini-muffin pan AND a standard size, so he'll probably weigh in, maybe complain, but I normally make the choice and life goes on. Then on the few things he does care about, I usually take a dive.
The joys of cohabitation! :)

[StephanieC]

I will add that, as time goes on, we've become a lot more like each other in a lot of different ways, so disagreements are far more rare. I love the peaceful feeling of less *stuff* and saving a few bucks, and he appreciates the fluffiness and thoroughness that I add to things :)

[Catherine]

Great comments! :) I'm learning (and both of you have now told me that it gets better over time - that is good news!). He's really a joy and so much fun to do everything with, I think as long as we keep a sense of humor about it all, we'll get there with no problem!